Twelve o’clock on the plaza at Jackson State University was one big social atmosphere where you were able to see all of the beautiful girls on campus. Music was blaring, fraternities and sororities were stepping, Lil Joe was barking, and Old School was dancing with his cane and making up his own lyrics to the songs playing. Me and my teammates lived for these moments preying on damn near every girl that passed by. Through the crowd, I witnessed this one girl. She was standing 5’3”, had nice hair, a beautiful skin complexion and wore a smile that made my heart melt. I was too shy to approach, so I let her walk by. I hoped that one day fate would align us for that one-on-one moment.
After a dreadful day at baseball practice, I rushed to the library to finish up a homework assignment due the following morning. I sat down to begin working and minutes later, there she was. I’m looking around the library for any vacancies to see where she could possibly sit. After standing up surveying the room, I turned to my left and the only seat remaining was right beside me. She is slowly approaching my area. I look away and locked in on my computer quickly so that I’m was not too obvious. She pulls the seat back, speaks, and proceeds to pull out her books. I’m beyond nervous. My palms became sweaty, my heart began moving at a rapid pace, and I definitely couldn’t concentrate on my assignment. She tapped me on my shoulder and asked me if I had something to write with. I was so shell-shocked in the moment that I couldn’t even respond. Even though it took a little time, I eventually gave her my pen and told her that she could have it. “Rick Deuce get some courage and introduce yourself; spark a conversation, do something!” After battling with myself about whether or not to say something, I finally introduced myself. I apologized for my slow reaction and proceeded to tell her why. I told her that I had a crush on her and that I would really like to know her. After a few chuckles, I gave her my number and we went our separate ways.
Weeks went by and still no call. I was a little upset about. Let me not lie, I was really upset about it. I didn’t want to talk to any of the girls I was entertaining at the time. I simply wanted her. Right as I was about to give up, an Indianapolis number popped up on my screen. I proceeded to answer the phone. It was her! I was so ecstatic but of course I had to play it cool and try not to show her. We kicked it off well. Months went by and we were inseparable. Every morning, after class, for lunch, after practice, and at night we were seen hand and hand. I introduced her to my mother and she loved her. With the approval from my mother a weight was lifted off my shoulder. I knew right then that I had fallen in love with her, well at least thought.
You know the slogan, “They only want you when they see you happy with someone else?” Well someone should have warned me of it. With my popularity growing on campus, I started losing focus on our relationship. I found myself ignoring her calls and making excuses to do things I shouldn’t have been doing. I had her right where I wanted, so instead of treating her as my queen, I started treating her like an ordinary female. One night at a party in the Palisades, she caught me in the corner hugged up with another female. Instead of me apologizing and admitting my wrong doings, I got mad at her for even coming. As tears rolled down her cheek, she stormed out of the party. I allowed her to leave without me even putting forth any effort to resolve the matter. Months had gone by and I had secretly gone back to a girl that played with my heart a few years back. You may ask why I did such a thing after having the perfect girl. Crazy thing is; I don't even know. Deep down, I knew that I messed up. My mother caught wind of the situation. I didn't answer her many phone calls because I knew that she still maintained a relationship with my ex and I didn't want to get lectured. I received a voicemail from my mother reminding me that karma was real and that I owed that sweet girl an apology. Taking heed to my mother’s word, I finally decided to contact my ex. We met one night at her apartment and it was a long quiet stare. She couldn’t even look me in my eyes. I proceeded to pick her chin up and she snatched away from me. The tears forming in the corner of her eyes made me feel a pain I’d never felt in my life. I quickly grabbed her and tried to console her. She cried relentlessly pounding me on my chest. “Why Rickey, why?” she screamed out. As I was trying to come up with a valid excuse, she told me to keep it and get out.
I didn’t know that the magnitude of this break up would haunt me for weeks, months, and years. From being cheated on, lied to, an abortion behind my back, and a failed engagement, I can’t over emphasize how real the word karma is. The desire for genuine love has been a struggle. I’ve sought for years after a love that I once had in my hands. Maybe it’s a little far-fetched to say we would’ve gotten married and had kids but because of my infidelity, I will never know. To all my fellas reading this, I sincerely say to you that what goes around will eventually come around. You never know what you will miss in a good woman until she is gone. If you have that one that will hold you down, respect you, and love you for you, keep her. Do right. Always remember that moment when she caught your eye when you consider stepping out with lustful intentions. The same effort you took to gain her love is the same effort you should give to keep her in your life. I know it kind of sounds cliché but you don’t want to witness her giving that same love to someone else. If she trusts you with her heart, learn from my mistakes. Treat it with care.